Miss March
by Edward's Necrophiliac
Summary: Four years after Edward left Bella, she changed. Hung with the in crowds, changed her style and even got into the Playboy business! Edward stumbles across her pictue one day, seeing the changed Bella. Can he contain himself? Edward's POV!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Don't ask me what's with me and porn. I just have these messed up fantasies where there's loads of smut and porn thrown into the mix. Meh, I do it for the sexy time. So for this story, I got Alice to edit for me! Yay! So a big thanks to her, because if not, the grammar would have been utter shit. Thanks, Allison :)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Twilight. _

**Summary: **Four years after Edward had left Bella, she changed. She hang with in crowds, changed herself and even found interest in the Playboy business. One day, Edward stumbles across her picture. Is this really the Bella he left? Or some flimsy porn star impersonating her? Better yet, can Edward contain himself with all those pictures? Edward's POV!

**Chapter 1: Seeing is Believing **

For the past four years, I was utterly bored. Nothing that I'd come across would excite me, put a smile on my face and make me feel hope. I lost my brown eyes, my angel, and yet I was supposed to be moving on and being content?

Garbage.

I sighed as I softly closed the book in my hand, a distraction of sorts. I looked at the cover, and felt a pang of hurt. _Pride and Prejudice, _one of her many favorite books. I couldn't stop the selfishness that captured me, making me steal this book of hers. A trinket of sorts, to remember all those precious memories we had together.

Setting the book else where, I sat down, crossing my legs in an Indian fashion. _What was I to do now? _I had asked this question for 1,460 days straight. The days just flew past and made me feel as if for four years, it was really just one, long, long day.

My eyes glazed over as I stared at the hardwood floor. A memory of vibrant flowers and beautiful brown eyes flashed in my head. A glorious smile that could only belong to an angel, straight from the heavens. I smiled lightly. No matter how many times I reminisced, her beauty would always take my breath away.

"So beautiful," I murmured to myself, "So, so beautiful." I closed my eyes, my grin widening. I imagined her warm, plush lips – the way they'd feel as she'd kiss me back. I remembered the fiery desire that was etched throughout me, each time I'd look at her. She was something I wanted, something I had, something I lost.

Opening my eyes, I found Alice sitting in front of me, staring at me in a curious manner. When did she come in? I looked briefly to the door, seeing it slightly ajar. "You must have been in dreamland," she commented. I looked back to her.

"Yes, I must've."

"How are you feeling?" It was her new favorite thing to ask me. I knew that Alice's heart was in the right place, but it was becoming a nuisance, answering the same thing, each and every day.

"I'm fine. Slightly bored." And it was the same old answer, every day. Alice nodded, allowing the silence to leak in.

"Is there anything you'd like to speak about? Anything you'd like me to look for?" It didn't take a genius to realize that Alice was just twitching with the urge to look for Bella, see what she had been up to for the last past four years.

"No," I answered solemnly, "But thank you for asking." Alice nodded and stood, brushing any dirt that had clung onto her jeans.

"Emmett's coming up in five, he'll be asking for you to take out the mail. He's occupied with his game, as usual," she said in a lighter tone. I cracked a small smile.

"Let him come. It seems like it's been ages that I've spoken to him." She nodded once more and ran a small hand through my hair. Another pang to the ever existing hole in my chest.

She used to touch my hair. Just like that.

I sighed as she slowly began to leave the room.

_Oh, Edward, _she thought to me. I looked up, with question in my eyes. _We'll find a solution. I promise you, we will. _With that, she left my room, leaving me to bask in the silence.

I could hear a deep padding of feet hit the ground from the other side of the hallway, coming to the direction of my room. Emmett.

Emmett burst into my room, a goofy grin on his face. "Hey, Edward," he said playfully. I waved to him.

"Hello, Emmett." He crossed over to my couch and plopped down on it.

"How you doing?" I shrugged.

"Same old. Yourself?"

"Well, I have a favor I need –"

"Alice had already clarified for me. She wanted me to get the mail for you." Emmett smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah, well, could ya? I mean, Rosie's kind of stressed up from all the dead behavior around the house, so I wanna –"

"Enough," I cut in, "Spare me from hearing your plans in addition to your sexcapades." Emmett laughed and came over, slapping his palm on my back.

"So, you'll go get the mail for me? Esme wanted me to go do it, but you know why. And she'll have a cow if it doesn't get done. I ordered some naughty stuff. Don't wanna scar Ma for the rest of existence. So go on, be a good little brother and go get the mail," he said. I rolled my eyes and stood.

"Alright." Emmett smiled and squeezed me shoulder once more before leaving. I looked outside the window to see that the sun was shining through.

I grabbed my iPod before departing and threw on a clean tee shirt. Putting the ear buds in my ears, I scanned my list of music before picking a delectable song.

I set the music up high, letting it blast into my ears. I just wanted to drown myself in the music, not having a care in the world, and to just keep my eyes closed, letting the lyrics take me in.

_Goodbye, old friend,_

_Goodbye, goodnight, _

_I'll move on, _

_You call it fate, I call it karma, _

_We had our time, it was fun_

_While it lasted… _

I reached the mail box, opening it and taking out the things that were in there. Curiosity got the better of me, and I began scanning through the mail.

Bill…Bill…Bill…Advertisement…Letter from the Denalis…Bill…Magazine. I looked at it for a good few minutes. It was a Playboy magazine, no doubt belonging to Emmett. Which was confusing, because as vain as Rosalie was, she was more beautiful than these plastic women that posed in skimpy wear.

The busty blond smiled seductively, her fake tan quickly setting me off. Her blond white hair was in curls, and she wore tight shorts with a low cut shirt. I shook my head, wondering why women would go to extremes and wear something that doesn't even seem comfortable.

_For the attention, _a voice in my head said. I sighed in boredom and reached for anything else in the mailbox. The magazine slipped from my hand, landing on the floor. I pursed my lips and bent down to retrieve it.

Emmett would be pissed off if any of the pages were ripped. Flipping it, so I could clean off any of the dirt, my hand froze on the page.

I could not believe what I was seeing.

Surely, this was a hoax and wasn't her.

_Just look at those eyes! Of course it is! _the voice nagged. I swallowed down the venom that rushed it's way into my mouth, pooling from the ever existent desire that was surging through my body at the moment.

The woman on the page was beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, striking…the list goes on and on. She had soft, dark brown hair that was in a mess all over the white sheets she was laying on. Her make up was light; a bit of lip gloss on her rosy lips and a bit of eye shadow around her picturesque eyes. Her skin was creamy white and left me urging to run my hand along her arm. She was naked, but a white sheet was draped over her body, hiding her superb breasts and the apex of her thighs from the rest of the world. She left me wanting to run over to her and do things I couldn't ever imagine doing to a regular woman.

And although I felt like I didn't know her, I felt like I did. She looked exactly like my Bella. My angel Bella. Someone who never wore make up and was fully covered, never showing cleavage. And yet here she was (possibly), nude and exposing herself to the universe.

It felt like millennia's that I was standing there, staring at the same photo. Jasper's voice suddenly startled me, making me abruptly close the magazine. "Edward?" he called.

"Yes, Jasper?" I asked attentively.

"What are you doing?" He looked to the magazine and back to me, his face full of confusion. "And why do you have one of Emmett's Playboy magazines in your hand? You're not resorting to porn, are you?" he asked, stifling his laughter.

I glared. "No, I'm not. Emmett just asked me if I could get the mail for him, and I did. So what if I was looking through it?" I asked, my chin raising a bit.

Jasper shook his head. "No, nothing. I just find it sort of amusing. I thought you'd get dibs on the internet, instead of some flimsy magazine where they Photoshop their women." A light-bulb suddenly went off in my head.

Photoshop.

They probably Photo shopped the young women, making her seem like my Bella. Only more redefined and a bit curvier with larger breasts. I smiled lazily. Paranoia was really getting to me.

"Yeah, you're right. Just a bunch of fake girls." I shrugged and walked back in, setting the mail on the table. Someone else could pick it all up.

But as I began walking back up to my room, I couldn't help but walk right back down and open the magazine, searching for the picture of the stunning woman.

I found the picture, and quick as ever, I ripped it out, folded it and stuck it in my pocket. I'd be damned if I was going to let the picture of this lady slip away from me. Bella or not.

And although I could care less if this wasn't, I wanted to get to the bottom of this.

There were two options to this predicament.

One: Ask Alice what was going on with Bella and move on from there. Which left me with telling Alice, who would tell Jasper because face it, they can't hide anything from each other. Which wasn't supposed to happen, because this was a solo mission.

Two: Research Bella Swan, find the nearest airport, book a trip to Los Angeles, California and visit the Playboy Mansion. Screw the goddamn sun, I just needed to know.

Option two was really siding with me.

So I ran back up to my room, turned on my computer and sat at my desk, staring at the search engine for a good five minutes. Operation Find Bella Swan was now in effect.

* * *

**A/N: **Well, I had written the first chapter before, but when I was looking over it again, I felt like it was really lacking. So I erased it all and started from scratch. I'm really happy how this turned out, actually. I thought I did pretty alright for Edward's thoughts. Now it's up to you. Yay or a nay? Remember to review, alert and favorite! Keeps me writing. This story will be updated every Thursdays. And nooo, I did not forget about Prude Turned Porn Star. I have it done, but I was busy with this first chapter, and now I'm going to the grocery store. So it'll have to wait. Incest Holds the Family together is also finished, but I'm throwing that one in on Tuesday. School's ending this week and you know what that means? UPDATES DAILY! Woo! So, remember to review! Because if not, how am I going to update every Thursday? So, go, go, go! Thanks to Allison for editing : D

Song used: _Call It Karma – Silverstein _


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I simply _loved _the feedback I received for the first chapter. The reviews and amount of alerts and favorites were astounding! Thanks to everyone! So, this is the second chapter of this fun story. Thanks to Allison for editing : )

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Twilight. _

**Chapter 2 – Rockin' That Thang, Baby **

A few days had passed since I plucked out the picture of the beautiful woman. I was constantly staring at it, trying to memorize all of her features. Each and every time I'd come back to that picture though, there was a feeling that stirred in the pit of my dead stomach. As if sparks were shooting through me. I liked it.

I hadn't told anyone about the picture. I wasn't exactly sure if Alice saw me going down to Los Angeles and finding out who this mysterious woman was. It was getting hard though, because I didn't have Alice to see how I'd be able to weave myself around the sun. So I had to make due by seeing the temperatures and changes of weather down there.

It was Thursday, and I was all packed for my little vacation. I tried hard to make it seem as if it wasn't an already planned decision. Hell, I tried to make it seem as if I wasn't going any where at all. Though, I had a feeling I'd get caught sooner or later. Possibly by Alice.

Speaking of the little devil, she suddenly walked into my room and looked at the small duffle bag I had on my bed. My eyes widened and I waited for her to scream out, calling everyone to my room. "Where in hells name are you going?" she asked me, looking at my bag and then up at me.

I held my head high as I answered her, "It's none of your business, Alice. Keep your nose out of places where it doesn't belong." I then proceeded to throw some of my things into the duffle bag, zipping it up and re-checking to see if I had everything.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" Alice asked in a heartbroken tone. I looked over to her with enough time to see that she was having a vision. Once she was done, she peered at me and narrowed her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?!" her voice cracked.

"What am I going to tell you? I have no clue if it's her or not!" I shouted back. She huffed crossing her arms and rolling her eyes. "Don't give me that, Alice. I'm just going there to check if it's really her or not. Nothing more."

"You're such a hypocrite, Edward! Really. You tell me to not bother looking for her, and here you are, ready to get on the first plane to L.A to go see if this girl is really her or not. You're not the only one that loves her, you know? She was my best friend too, the bestest best friend I've ever had, okay? I demand you take me," Alice said in a hard voice. I narrowed my eyes at her and shook my head stubbornly. "Edward!" she shrieked. "Why the hell not?! I miss her too!"

I pushed past her, rolling my eyes as she continued to shriek and throw a fit behind me. Esme came around from the living room, fixing up a flower and suddenly peeking over at me, taking in my bag and my rushed state.

"Edward…what are you doing?" she asked. Pain flashed through her eyes and memories of me abruptly leaving in the past came up. _He's leaving…isn't he? _I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. "Why?" she whispered, looking down and shaking her head, trying to wrap the reason as to why I was suddenly leaving, around her head.

"Mom," I whispered back, walking over to her and pulling her into my arms, "Really, it's just a small vacation I'm taking. Really, I'm just getting tired of Newfoundland. I'll be back, Esme, I promise." She nodded sadly, and I gave a peck on the forehead for reassurance.

I let go of her and didn't bother saying goodbye to anyone else. Emmett was probably with Rosalie, Carlisle was working at the hospital, Jasper was probably trying to calm Alice and Esme… well, I still felt terrible.

I hastily threw my luggage into my car, turning it on and peeling out of the garage and speeding down the road. I could only think of Bella and the picture of the mysterious woman, burning a hole in my jean pocket. I looked down quickly, taking it out and staring at it, staring at the road a few more times after.

She was beautiful, and I was determined to make her mine again. This woman made my feel things that I haven't been feeling since I left Bella. She opened up a new universe and made me want to go out into the world and search for her. Stumble through every obstacle, I would. Fight for her, I would. There wasn't anything that I suddenly wouldn't do for this woman.

The airport wasn't packed, which was good, and it was already twenty minutes past ten, so it was fairly dark. I parked my car, locked it and checked if I had everything. Once I did, I ran to the elevator, past that to the front desk, shoving my ticket to the lady there.

Time just seemed to fly, and I tried as hard as I could, pushing this woman out of my brain. I couldn't suddenly go into a trance and get people staring more than they should. It would attract the humans and that certainly wasn't my main priority.

I waited for a good three hours until my plane had arrived. Once it did, I bolted upwards, and ran, shoving my ticket, yet again, to the women there. She gave me a peculiar stare, soon letting her dull brown eyes rake over my. _What I'd like to do to him… _I rolled my eyes and waiting impatiently until she said I was able to board.

Finding a seat was easy, considering I was first and in first class. I picked a seat away from everyone, hoping no one would come sit next to me. No one in first class did, which was also good. I had a lot of dwelling to do.

Everyone boarded the plane, yet I was completely oblivious until I felt the plane taking off. I pulled out some printed pictures of the mysterious woman, and began to analyze them.

This woman look _exactly _like Bella. A bit taller than Bella's 5"4, but I couldn't tell, because in almost every picture, she was wearing these heels that were ridiculously high. And when she wasn't, she was in the pool. So throw that thought out the window…

Bella's hair was a nice, dark shade of mahogany. Yet this woman strictly had chestnut colored hair. She has side bangs, and when she posed under the sunshine, her hair was all shiny and healthy looking. This was getting more unbelievable by the minute.

The plane soon landed and I grabbed all the pictures, shoving them in my pockets once more. I grabbed my duffle bag, only having it as a carry on, and rushed out of the plane.

I hauled a taxi, and told him the address of the Playboy Mansion. He gave me a look, and I was pretty sure almost everyone in L.A knew where that address _really _washeaded to. I rolled my eyes and sat back, closing my eyes and sighing.

_You can do this, Edward. Just go in there, show them the pictures and find her. _Yes, and after? _Talk to her. Compliment her on how beautiful she looks. _She was always beautiful. And I was officially insane. I shook my head, ending the confrontation with myself and watched as the car whizzed by each tall building.

L.A was nice, a bit packed, but it was nice. Not a place I'd like to live, considering the sun shined here almost every moment of the day. But I could make do with staying in doors all day.

The taxi stopped in front of a gate that was covered in vines, and I took a good look at the house, or mansion. It was huge, and inside, there were women everywhere. Surely, this was every mans dream: to walk inside of a house full of horny women, just begging to get touched by that one man.

I handed the taxi driver a few bills, and pulled my things out along with myself. There was a big, buff body-guard. He was tall, but he wasn't something that I couldn't handle with my super strength. "Name?" he demanded in a gruff voice.

Taking a good look into his mind to see the list of names on the clipboard he was holding, I picked a decent name. "Hunter Davis," I replied calmly. He scanned down the list, nodding as he saw my fake name.

"Go on right in. And remember, hurt the ladies, and I break your fucking neck." He glared at me, and once he was out of sight, I rolled my eyes. Like he could lay a hand on me and end up unscathed in the process.

*******

I honestly couldn't find my way around. It wasn't what I expected inside. Inside, it was worse. There were women in skimpy outfits, everywhere I turned. They were either making a lunge for me, or staring at me and licking their lips greedily. I already snagged about thirteen emails, twenty four phone numbers, and was introduced to more than fifty women. And I didn't even bother asking for anything. Emmett would be proud.

The only thing that kept me motivated was: Keep walking around, you're bound to find _something. _Which I did. There were a bunch of doors, and I tried getting into them. But they were all locked. Well, the last one wasn't.

I hesitantly placed my hand on the doorknob, listening if there was anyone inside. _Damn, _a male voice said, _These are some hot pictures. _I looked through the mans' eyes, seeing a picture of the mysterious woman in a crimson red bikini, splashing water onto herself and smiling.

My eyes narrowed and the only thing I could think of was, _mine. _She was mine, no matter what shit we went through in the past. The fact that she was my soul mate couldn't change anything. If we were destined together, then so be it.

Well, me being stupid and acting like a total ape landed me in some terrible crap. I never thought that I'd come across Hugh Hefner and stare him in the eye. "Hello there, son," he said. I scoffed inside of my head. I was old enough to be his great grandfather, and he was calling me 'son.' Ridiculous.

I gave him a curt nod. "What brings you here, to my dome of sexual fun?" he said, smoking his pipe and smiling cheekily. I tried not to glare, I really did. I had to keep reminding myself that he was the answer to finding out about this woman.

"I have a favor to ask of you, sir," I said as respectfully as I could. I walked over to him and sat down in the chair in front of his desk, pulling out the pictures that I had. "I need to know who this is," I replied, pointing to the face of the gorgeous female.

"Hmm," he said in deep thought. _Of course this sex kitten would catch the eye of him. Hell, she's caught the eye of me and I'm an eighty-three year old pervert. _"She's cute, ain't she?" he said, smiling again.

"Yes," I strained, "But who is she?"

"That's Kitty Belle. She's new as of four years. One of my best bunnies out there. She knows how to make that cute, hot, kitty into a ferocious, sexy tiger," he mused. My face contorted in disgust. I tired my hardest to not peek into his mind and catch him thinking about her.

"Do you know where I can find this Kitty Belle, sir?" He nodded and leaned back, continuing to smoke his pipe.

"Down the hall, if you keep walking, you'll see her by the indoor pool. Tell her you're a guest of Hugh," he said, looking around me to smile to a blond with big breasts and a toned stomach. "Go on now, son. I have company." I nodded again.

"Thank you, sir."

I couldn't have gotten out of there faster. I practically ran down the hall and towards the indoor pool. Once I reached there, I saw a sight that nearly took my breath away.

There she was, standing in light blue, skin tight jeans and a thin, white spaghetti strap. I could see her blue and white polka-dotted bikini underneath. She wasn't very tall, either, and she was wearing these white strappy wedges.

She set her bag down, her towel and everything else with it. She then reached for her bag and took out a small iPod dock, taking her iPod out as well, and putting it on the dock, letting the speakers blast her music. She scanned her song list, and picked a song.

It was a song that I knew about, because Alice had played it constantly when it first came out. Something along the lines of, 'Rockin' That Thang', or however you said it in that ridiculous gangster language.

Once the song was set at an appropriate volume, she then proceeded to do the most _hottest _thing in existence. She began to strip.

She took off her top, letting all of the world (more like myself, since it was only her and I here) to see her perfect, round breasts being held up by her halter bikini top. I licked my lips in desire as she began to unbutton her jeans, and stepped out of them, revealing her delicious hips. I admit, I felt like a pervert, but she was one of the most finest female specimens to walk the earth. And I wouldn't let a feeling like perviness ruin that.

Her hips began to dance sexily to the beat, and then she did something that made me pitch one. She bent down, allowing me to feast my eyes on her glorious backside, and took off her shoes. She stepped out of them, took one more swig of her martini by her chair and then walked over to the steps of the pool.

I watched, completely mesmerized. She stopped and then threw her hair into a quick ponytail, continuing what she was doing after that.

Standing here, watching a sexy goddess swim around all alone didn't make me feel like a man that much. I didn't even have the balls to go around and even say hello. Which I precisely did right after that thought crossed my mind.

I took a deep breath, and strode over to her, watching as she tried to get on a pink water chair. Venom pooled in my mouth and I could help but growl lowly. She looked up at me in surprise.

"H-Hello," she said, her beautiful brown eyes searching my face for any emotion. The next face she made, was completely out of it. She scrunched up her eyes, as if trying to see me closer up. She then cocked her head and pursed her lips, as if she were trying to remember be, but she couldn't.

That tipped me off, and I suddenly had a bad feeling about this meeting of ours. "Hello," I smoothly said back. She grinned and playfully bit her lip, taunting the lustful monster within.

"And how are you, this fine evening?" she asked me, using her hands to bring the chair closer to where I was standing on the deck. She was finally in front of my, still grinning. I bent down to meet within eyelevel and gave her my crooked grin.

See what the sex kitten made out of this.

"I'm fine. Well, after I met this beautiful woman, just a few seconds ago." She laughed shakily, but I wasn't too concerned. I could already smell that tantalizing arousal a mile away.

"You," she said, "Are too kind." I shrugged.

"I try," I replied honestly. She gazed into my eyes and I felt like I was a lucky man to have met this beautiful woman. Just that feeling felt like something burst inside of me, happiness to be precise.

"Would you be a kind gentleman, and pass me my drink?" She pointed behind me, to her martini that was wet from the sudden condensation.

"Of course." I walked to get her drink, and handed it carefully to her. She nodded in thanks and took a few sips, sighing as the alcohol ran through her system and kept her calm.

"So, are you a friend of one of the bunnies?" she asked. I shook my head.

"Just a friend of Hugh's. He was a bit worried that you were all alone, so he asked me to come check on you, and well, here I am," I lied. Like I wouldn't lie for this angel.

"Ah," she replied, "He's like a father to me. Looking out for me like the rest of the bunnies. I've taken him as a father figure after my biological father passed away two years ago," she said in a calm voice.

"I'm sorry." She shook her head and smiled.

"It's fine, really. He just had some problems with his heart as he continued to age, and I guess it caught up to him." She shrugged, looking down. But I could already see that they had a glassy look to them. Just speaking about her deceased father hurt her so. I frowned.

"He must've been a good man," I said. She nodded and dabbed at the corners of her eyes, suddenly perking up.

"Boy, alcohol does some funny things to my emotions," she said, laughing. I laughed back with her, suddenly sitting down and crossing my legs, all the while, staring at her.

"I never caught your name," she said, running a hand through her side bangs.

"My name is Edward Cullen, and it's a great pleasure to meet you." I picked her free hand up, giving a good sniff at her blood. It smelled just like her, and strange enough, that worried me even more. I laid a cool kiss on the back of her hand, returning it to her soon after. "I assume you're Kitty Belle, or so Hugh's told me."

She nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, I am, but that's not my real name," she said, still grinning. She held out her hand towards me, and I took it, sighing in pleasure as I felt electricity flow between us. I looked up into her bright brown eyes and there was this feeling of anxiety, eating away at my system. If this woman was Bella Swan, there was something extremely wrong with her. She didn't even recognize me, and it worried me.

"The name's Isabella Swan. Nice to meet you."

* * *

**A/N: **AND SO THEY MEET! Woohoo! A nice eight pages and right before midnight. So proud of myself. Hehe, cash in those reviews, babes. You know I love reading 'em. Thanks to my beta Allison, for editing. Glad you got your crack, Alice xD See you guys next week with the next installment : D


	3. Chapter 3

**A/n: **Holy crappoly! Again with the awesome feedback! *Does little dance* Thanks to everyone who did the normal routine, you guys know how happy it makes me. Well, I'm proud to say that we're getting lengthier chapters which is good for you guys as well xD This is a nice, long chapter that I was able to get in. The reason why I wasn't able to update my other stories is down there in the author's note. Ah well, now I'm going to shut it and let you read. Thanks to Alice for editing, as usual :D

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Twilight. _

**Chapter 3 – She Will Love Again **

* * *

My face contorted from pain, to confusion, and to pain again. It was clear to me, that Bella had completely forgotten about me. Either that, or she was playing a mean joke on me, making me suffer for my foolish actions, by pretending to not remember who I was. _No. _Bella wasn't like this. She had a kind heart and was selfless, which was part of the reason why I was still in love with her.

I cleared my throat, making sure any traces of sorrow weren't evident. "A pleasure to meet you, Ms. Swan," I said, smiling crookedly. I heard her heart beat speed up, and the lovely blush tinged her cheeks, making my smile broaden.

"Oh, please. The pleasure is all mine," she replied, smiling. "Will you help me out? I'm a bit clumsy and there's a chance I'll end up slipping and bashing my head right there." She pointed to where I was standing and began to laugh, her glorious smile making me grin in response; it was contagious.

"But of course, anything for a beautiful woman." She put her margarita on the dock and began to slide off the plastic chair, holding her arms out for me. I smiled at her innocence, but the image just left me hurt. Of course, she thought I was any other man she'd come across, drowning in her beauty and ready to strive to do anything, just to keep her happy. I was like everyone else to her. I was no one special. Not anymore.

I grabbed her by her arms effortlessly, and pulled her out of the water. I had to bite my tongue to prevent myself from letting out a moan. Just staring at her toned body, dripping with water and in my arms, I wanted to bend down and suck the water off her body. I wanted to rip off her tight bikini. I wanted to ─

"Are you alright?" she asked, still in my arms. Her eyebrows furrowed and looked at me. "You seem a bit tense. I'm sorry if I'm too heavy," she said, making a move to scramble out of my arms. I shook my head quickly, my hold on her body tightening.

She began to climb a bit higher on my body, but her foot slipped, and she squeaked in surprise. I caught her, still in my arms and laughed at the position. She had weaved her way to wrapping her legs around my waist, and my arms were holding her by her back, right under the tie of her bikini. She looked down and laughed with me. "Well," I said more happy that I should have been, "This is a bit awkward."

"Yeah, well, I have to say. Your arms are _very _comfy. Nice and strong, but not too big. Just the way I like 'em," she added, smiling cheekily. I rolled my eyes, but rejoiced over our over-friendly behavior. "Really, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have a very nice body, almost perfect." Her eyes lightened and she had a dazed look on her face, as if remembering something. I only hoped she was remembering of me.

"I try," I voiced lamely. She nodded, still in her own little world, and I set her down. "Well, I should be going now. It was very nice meeting you, Bella, and I hope to see you again." I began walking away, but her warm hand clasped around my arms, pulling me back.

"Wait!" she said, looking up at me with her beautiful doe eyes, "You're not going to leave without my number, are you? I mean, hell, I want to see you again. I know it's weird, but there's…something about you," she shrugged, "It makes me want to see you more." She blushed, making me grin like a complete and utter moron.

My hand reached for my pocket, pulling out my phone and handing it to her. She punched her number and whatnot into my phone and gave it back. Bella walked over to where her stuff was, and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around her. "Here," she continued, giving me her phone. "Set your number in there. So we won't have to worry about who has what number and the other doesn't." She laughed lightly.

I added my number and name and quickly handed it back. "Um…Bella…," I said nervously, "I know this is a bit forward, but would you consider having breakfast with me tomorrow?" Her smile brightened my world and she nodded.

"Of course! I'd love to get to know you more. Where would you like to go?" She said, blushing. I ran a hand through my hair, not meeting her eyes.

"Ah, well, I've just reached L.A, and I'm not exactly sure what all the good places are. I was hoping that you hand something in mind."

"We can go to Lulu's Café. They have really good cereal," she commented. I nodded in agreement and stepped forward.

"I'll pick you up at around nine, how does that sound?" I asked, watching as a tendril of hair fell and rested against her collarbone. I was tempted to sweep it behind her ear, and touch her blushing cheek.

"Fantastic," she breathed, sure that she was feeling everything that I was feeling for her. She looked up and my breath hitched. My hand reached up and lightly brushed against her smooth cheek, feeling the heat radiate off of her now blushing skin.

"Goodnight, Isabella," I said, throwing her one last smile before turning around and leaving. Her heart was pumping fast and loud, over that one little act of affection. I was curious as to how she would react now, if I were to kiss her.

"But wait!" she hollered as I turned the corner. "You don't have my address!" I chuckled to myself. _Oh, my beautiful Isabella, you'd be surprised as to what I can do. _

*******

As I was returning back to the hotel that I was currently staying at, I began to brew over the fact that Bella could not remember me. I feared for her, for me, and the future that I wanted to plan back with her. I would have to start over again, and if all failed, to even allow her to remember me for at least a fraction of a second, I would have to drop out, and rip myself away from Bella's life. To finally understand that true love wasn't all fun and games. It was being able to sacrifice your feelings for the one you loved, and to do what was right when the going got rough. I sighed as the car halted to a stop in front of the Omni Hotel.

"Fifteen dollars, buddy," the cab driver requested. I nodded and pulled out a twenty, allowing him to keep the change. "You sure have yourself a nice time up there," he nodded up to the luxurious hotel and smiled faintly. I nodded again and left the taxi, making my way to the front desk.

The woman there was small, with layered black hair and a bit of a tan. Her mint green eyes looked startled to see me, but they immediately sizzled into a lustful stare. _Wow… What I'd do to see hotties like him walk in, each day of my life. _I held back a chuckle from hearing her thoughts and asked for my room key, considering I got the bell boy to bring up my duffel bag before I left. She handed me the key and smiled seductively, breathing out, "Have a good night."

I walked to the elevator, pressing the button to the penthouse before the doors closed. The elevator made its way up, and I was soon walking down the halls to my suite. I swiped the card and entered, immediately seeing my duffle bag on the creamy tan leather couches. I looked to my right, seeing a bottle of champagne in a cooler of ice, with a sticky note attached to it.

_Mr. Cullen, _it read, _please enjoy your stay with one of Los Angeles' finest champagne. -The Omni Hotel Staff. Xxx. _I grumbled as I made my way past it, not seeing any use for it.

The suite was beautifully put together, with lamps and candles and plush cushions. I was surprised to see a sleek black piano behind the couches though. That instantly perked up my mood. Maybe I would be able to whip up something, just for Bella.

I spent the night roaming around my suite, looking out the window to the wonderfully bright city of L.A., the lit up buildings and the cars that were still driving, even at four in the morning. People were still walking around, but I suspected that some of them were drunk, taking the safe way out and walking home, instead of stepping behind the wheel.

Seven in the morning rolled around, and I finally switched off the television, bored out of my mind. I looked out the window, to see that it wasn't sunny outside. It looked cloudy, not a speck of sunshine. I smiled. The stupid sun wouldn't be interfering in my plans to meet up with Bella today. I was thankful.

I walked towards the bedroom, grabbing a towel and heading towards the bathroom. I walked in and set the towel on the counter, taking off my jeans and my shirt. The scent of Bella was still on my shirt, and I sniffed it like I was some kind of addicted monster.

This thoroughly confused me, Bella's scent was alluring. She smelt like freesias and strawberries and cinnamon and everything that made a person happy. She still had that scent, for sure, but there was something mixed with it. Like…normal human blood. It didn't smell like any perfume or toxins. It was just regular blood.

I shook my head, making sure I at least found out some things today at breakfast. I took a quick shower, trying to tame my hair but left it as it's usual messiness. I slipped on a pair of black slacks and a light blue button up top, rolling the sleeves to the creases of my elbows. By the time I was done, it was already five minutes after eight. I wanted to take my time, to not rush and seem overly eager.

The rest of the morning was spent by the piano, playing a few songs that I hadn't played in months and a bit of composing. Once I felt like I had enough, I began to look around again.

There was a computer sitting on the glass table by the couches, and I immediately ran over and started it up.

I was pretty sure that Bella was living in the mansion. One of the rooms I had passed by before I left had the exact scent as her so I went on with that. But it was better to be safe than sorry. So I searched up her stage name, 'Kitty Belle,' and was met with millions of links. Some were amazing shots of her, in bikinis, some in dresses. I had to shake my head a couple of times, for I was being dragged in by her beauty.

I found a bio of her, and skimmed it. It mentioned that she was living under the roof of Hefner. I smiled in accomplishment and looked over to the clock, seeing that a good twenty-five minutes had already passed. I sighed and bowed my head, wondering how the hell I was going to be able to keep patient and wait this out.

_Maybe you could buy her some flowers before you leave. Women love flowers. _I smiled, trying to imagine Bella's reaction to me bringing her some flowers. Determined with my little plan, I grabbed my keys and phone before heading out to find some place where they sold flowers.

There was a small flower shop, called 'Silverlake Express.' It was just oozing amazing scents and I was drawn by all the vibrant colors of the flowers. There was an old woman inside, watering the plants and straightening out some of the stems. I cleared my throat, and she whipped around, giving me a small smile. "Hello, and welcome to Silverlake Express. How may I assist you?" she asked.

"Well," I began to explain, "I'm taking out the woman I love to breakfast today. I'd like to present her with some flowers, a bit of a trinket for joining me. But I've no clue what she likes." The woman nodded in understanding.

"Some bouquets of cherry blossoms have just been imported from Japan. It's a fresh batch and they smell splendid." She turned around and handed me a bouquet of the pink blossoms. "I'd recommend them." I sniffed, smiling at the sweet scent of them.

"I'll take them."

***** **

I walked down to the Playboy Mansion. It left me more time to think about how I'd present myself, and wasted a good few minutes too. I saw the house and I clenched the flowers, my nerves now jumping around inside of me. _Just go in there and be yourself, _I chanted. I rolled my eyes. How the hell was a vampire, lusting over his ex-girlfriend who turned out to be a Playboy superstar, supposed to be himself? Impossible, is what I say.

My feet took me over to the front door, and I rang the doorbell for a good few seconds. I breathed in and kept telling myself that I could do this. The door opened, and I was met with a small blond. She had freckles over the bridge of her nose and across her cheekbones. She gave me a small smile and pushed her blond hair behind her shoulder.

"Hi," she said in a bubbly voice, "I'm Sara Jean, who are you?" I looked behind her to see some of the other females there. They gave me alluring smiles, throwing some winks. I gulped, never had I been afraid of a bunch of horny women until now.

"I'm Edward Cullen. Do you know where…Kitty Belle is?" I asked, still trying to find her around the house. Sara giggled and I looked down to her.

"Belle doesn't live here. Well, we stay here sometimes, but some of us live down in the Playmate House. Kendra and I just came around here to chat with some of the girls. We're headed there now, though. You wanna come along? Belle's over there." I nodded vigorously and waited until Sara's friend came down.

She had large breasts, a tan and ice blue eyes. "Morning, Sara," she said, grabbing her purse before reaching us. "Who's your friend?" she asked, looking at me from head to toe, clearly checking my out.

"Oh, this is Edward. He's here for Belle. Edward, this is Kendra. One of the Playmates." I held my hand out and gave her a light kiss on the back of it.

"Pleased to meet you." Kendra laughed and fanned her face.

"A pleasure."

"Right, well, we better get going," Sara said, calling out a goodbye to her friends before walking out of the mansion with myself and Kendra behind her. "So," she said to me lightly, "Why you here for Belle?"

"I'm taking her out to breakfast. We're going to Lulu's." Sara and Kendra both laughed.

"That girl is addicted to their blueberry waffles, you'd be surprised that she's got a hot bod," Kendra said after the laughter died down. I smiled.

We reached the Playmate House and it was a bit smaller than the mansion, with gates and a fountain. Kendra swiped a card by the gates and they instantly opened, allowing us in.

Sara opened the doors and led my inside. She and Kendra then went off to do their own things, and I was suddenly left alone. There were about six women in total inside of the house, which is what I couldn't understand. This house was about a good two or three sizes smaller than the official Playboy Mansion. Then why the hell were there only six girls living inside?

"Edward!" a voice squealed. Small arms wrapped around me, and I looked down, seeing a head of brown hair. "I thought you'd ditch," she said into my chest. I laughed and looked into her eyes. "It's not funny. I really thought you'd forget." I shook my head.

"I wouldn't forget." She smiled, my stomach shooting nerves from the feelings she was tackling on. "These are for you," I said, handing her the bouquet of blossoms. She went "aww" and reached up, pressing her warm lips against my cheek. My eyes widened from the sweet action and I smiled happily.

"Thank you, they're lovely." I nodded.

"You're very welcome. Now, shall we?" Bella giggled and looped her arm through mine, making my heart soar.

"But of course."

***** **

I hadn't exactly saw what Bella was wearing. It had something to do with a sky blue camisole with a white sweater on top, along with some pink and blue shorts. What had surprised me, was that she was wearing white boots. She had told me that she was an exotic dresser, and liked to make everyone wonder. Could this woman be anymore amazing?

We walked all the way to Lulu's, since it was only a few blocks away. Her arms was still looped through mine, and I had the urge to wrap an arm around her waist. But I thought it was too bold, and too early in the game. So I left it at what we were already doing, linking arms. I was more than content that she was warming up to me so quickly, without any suspicions and whatnot.

The small café came into view, making Bella tug me over a bit. "Oh, gosh, I can already smell those waffles," she said sniffing the air. I did the same, and bit back a gag. Human food all smelt the same to me, like drenched cardboard. On rare occasions, very rare occasions, I'd have the balls to stick some food into my mouth. It always came back up, making me learn my lesson.

I laughed and allowed her to drag me over. There were a few people already outside, enjoying the warm but sunless weather. There were waitress coming in and out, bringing food and plates. It seemed like a happy place to be.

"Delilah!" Bella called. A woman in her mid thirties turned around, and a smile lit up her face. She had light brown hair that was pulled into a lazy bun. "It's so good to see you again!" Bella ran over and gave the woman a tight hug.

"You too, sweet cheeks. How's life been treating you?" the woman replied. Bella then launched into a tale about how she had upcoming photo shoots and that she was having a lot of fun, touring around the world and doing some signings. "Good, good. Lucky woman, I've had three kids and I can't get a nice body like yours back." Delilah sighed, and then turned her violet eyes to me. "And who's this?"

"This is Edward. He and I were acquainted last night by the pool." Bella looked at me. "Edward, this is Delilah. She was my very first friend when I came to L.A. That and her amazing food always brings me back here," she laughed.

"How do you do?" I asked politely. Delilah's eyes widened in wonder and she grinned in astonishment. She fanned her face with her hand, letting out a breath.

"You sure do know how to pick 'em, sweetie," she joked. Bella laughed and gave Delilah one more hug.

"Yeah, well, you go make sure Harry's got something to work with." Delilah rolled her eyes and handed us two menus, pushing us towards some tables by the window.

"Whatever. Now go, I got to go make sure he doesn't burn his damn hand off," she said. Bella picked a small booth by the window, beginning to skim the menu. I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

As if feeling my gaze, she looked up and smiled. I smiled back, about to combust from the joy that I was feeling. "What are you having?" she asked me. I shrugged, pretending like I was contemplating.

"Just a small coffee," I said. She scrunched her eyebrows and cocked her head to the side.

"Are you sure? You're not hungry or anything?"

"Hungry for you," I blurted out. My eyes widened in horror, and I covered my mouth with my hand, wishing the words would just go back into my mouth and dissipate. Bella had a face of shock, and slowly, a blush spread across her cheeks. "I-I'm so sorry. I…I didn't – "

"It's fine," Bella said quietly, bowing her head. _Shit. Shit. Shit. _Her small shoulders began shaking, and she looked up, laughing. My lips twitched and I began laughing with her, glad that the embarrassment was slowly fading away. The laughter died down, and she stared at me with a mischievous smile on her beautiful face. _She has a stunning smile. _

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking," I apologized more clearly. The smile didn't leave her face. She leaned forward, beginning to trail her smooth hand across my arm and across my collar bone. My breathing hitched as she touched my chest through my shirt.

"Would it be wrong of me to say that I'm hungry for you too? Ever since you man handled me by the pool last night?" I swallowed down the venom and shifted a bit, realizing that my pants had become a tad bit tight.

"Hi, my name's Amy and I'm going to be your waitress today. What can I get ya'll?" Bella removed her hand and looked up to the small teenager, telling her what she was going to have. The waitress turned to me, her thoughts going a mile a minute. "What can I get you?"

"Just a small double double, please." She nodded and then went back to the kitchen to fix us our meals.

Bella set her hands on the table and gave me a blank stare. "I feel like I've known you forever," she said softly. I nodded back in understanding.

"Feels like that for me too."

"Tell me about yourself," she suddenly suggested, making my stop and think how I was going to word my words. She picked up my hesitation instantly. "Sorry, it was a bit forward. You don't have to," she laughed, nervous.

I shook my head. "It's fine, Bella." Her eyebrows squinted in confusion. "Well, I was born in Chicago, but my parents had passed away when I was still young. I was sent to the orphanage and was picked up by Carlisle and Esme around the age of four. We moved to Alaska, where they adopted my other brothers and sisters and at seventeen, we moved to Forks, Washington. The rest is history." She was quiet for a while. I could only hope that something, anything would come to mind and she'd suddenly remember it.

"Forks? I used to live there until I was nineteen," she said to herself, but I heard it. Bella looked up, her sparkling sepia eyes full of wonder. "I haven't seen you in my final years of living in Forks. I attended high school there until I graduated. And I only moved to L.A after I attended a contest for a free magazine cover. I don't think you could have just slipped by me any how. I was the Chief of Police's daughter." My fingers began to drum quickly against the table top, a nervous habit.

"Well, I wouldn't exactly say Forks, Washington itself. We lived on the outskirts of Forks, deep in the forests and whatnot. There were only two of us that attended high school though; the other three had already graduated." Bella nodded, understanding clearly.

"So it was more into Seattle, then?"

"Precisely."

Amy came back with Bella's plate of food and my coffee. She set Bella's food in front of her, handing her a bottle of syrup and a tall glass of orange juice, with some napkins and cutlery soon after. Bella smiled in delight. "These smell soooo good," she sighed.

I chuckled. "Eat up then." Bella dug into her food, blushing and smiling as I watched her eat. I don't think there could have been a cuter sight. I looked down to my disgusting beverage and began to add packets of sugar and cream, hoping that it'd lessen the disgusting taste.

My hands wrapped around the hot cup, and I grimaced in slight uncomfortability. After a few moments, the cup was now a slightly cold temperature. I held my breath and I lifted the cup to my mouth and sipped a bit. Biting my tongue, I resisted the urge to spit it all out. So, I swallowed it and took it as a man.

The silence between us was comfortable. Bella ate, as I rarely sipped my disgusting beverage. She drank some of her juice, finally setting the cup down and sighing. "I don't know how I don't get fat," she said honestly. I laughed, shoving away the cup filled with nastiness. "Really, I don't. I could eat six bags of chips and still look hot. Maybe it's a Bunny thing." She shrugged and wiped her mouth with the napkin there.

"Shouldn't you be happy over that?" I asked, I didn't trust myself replying to anything that had to do with her amazing looks. She shrugged again.

"I guess. But it kind of scares me. Hell, if I eat so much, it's going to one day go to my heart, and I'll get a heart attack. A win-lose situation, you know? I get the good body, but the bad internal health in the end. Well, as they say, life's too short for rules. Who wants to live their life perfectly, with perfect foods and a perfect husband or wife and a perfect job? I find perfect unbelievably scary," she ranted. I bit back a smile and continued to listen to her. "You're perfect looking. Really, you are. But you're not perfect, no one is. And if someone I come across happens to be perfect, well, then I'm kicking them down there, cooch or balls, and sending them back to wherever the hell they came from." I let out a loud laugh as I went over what she said. She threw me a look. "What? It's true. You know I'm right."

Before she could have another go, I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Yes, Bella, you are completely right." She raised an eyebrow. "Honestly. I find your whole analyzation amazingly correct." She nodded in approval and pulled out a tube of lip gloss, applying some to her beautiful lips. "Ready to go?"

"Yep," she replied, reaching for her purse to pull out her wallet. I was quicker though. I left a total of fifteen dollars on the table, not really caring about the change. I grabbed Bella's free hand and began to tow her away from the table. "Edward!" she squeaked. "Let me pay for the food, dammit. You've done enough for me."

I chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"On the contrary, darling, this is nothing in comparison to what I'll be doing later on." She scoffed and allowed me to lead her where I wanted to go. I chuckled at her stubbornness. Something that hadn't changed one bit, and I was happy.

***** **

Bella and I were sitting in a park together, under the shade. We had been throwing questions at each other like lightning. It was only until it was my turn, when things began to take a toll. To know more about her, I had to dig deep. I knew that. But I wasn't sure as to how deep I was willing to dig.

"I'm curious," I said idly as I picked up a daisy and began to twirl it between my fingers. I saw Bella rolled her eyes and shake her head playfully.

"When are you not?"

"Touché," I replied to her witty comment.

"Well, go on," she probed. I sighed and set down the flower, staring at her intently.

"You give me these curious stares. I know your curiosity gets to you. But…your stares, they're just…ah, what's the word I'm looking for?" I said, beginning to rack my brain for the right utterance.

"Faraway stares?" she suggested. I snapped my fingers.

"Exactly."

She looked down, and began to nimbly play with her fingers. After a few moments, she looked back up. "I have Huntington's Disease," she said bluntly.

It was like the world had stopped. I was into the whole medical thing, I went to medical school for a good three years and then some. But I wasn't familiar with Huntington's Disease. I knew that it was something that affected humans from the age of thirty-five to forty-four, or so that was the mean. But it was rare for a young woman like Bella to be diagnosed with something like this. "I beg your pardon?" I asked.

"I have Huntington's Disease. A disease that's most commonly known to be the genetic cause of abnormal movement. Other wise known as chorea. I used to be clumsy as a kid. I was in the hospital so much, the whole staff knew me. In Arizona _and _in Forks. At that time, I thought it was just something because I was uncoordinated. Which it was, but at the age of nineteen, I was in the very earliest stages of Juvenile HD. HD affects my memory, a huge portion of it, my movement, my behavior and in time, I'll have psychiatric problems. Depending on how my disease progresses."

"And is there any reason, other than genetics, why you have this?" I said, swallowing the urge to cry. She pursed her lips and scratched her head.

"When I was eighteen, I had a traumatic accident. I'm not sure what it was, but I know it was traumatic. My HD level is very low. It could be years till it's heightened again. It's just the memory portion that I've been affected terribly with. I can't remember anything from when I was eighteen and the years before that. Nothing. I just go by what people have told me. I can only recall everything after I turned nineteen. My years in the Playboy Mansion, modeling and such. Sometimes I remember the people in Forks, but it's very brief.

"But anyways, that's not the point. I feel.. I feel like I know you. Maybe you're just someone that I barely recognize from the market or the streets. I don't know. Maybe… Maybe I met you many years back. But it's so frustrating! Because I look at you, and feel these weird things. I feel longing, sorrow. But you've done nothing to make me feel such sadness. You've brought brightness to my life, something to dwell over. It's only been two days, can you believe? All these rushing emotions. It's creepy." Bella laughed and tucked some locks of hair behind her ear.

I looked down to my lap, clenching my hands into tight fists. So this was the reason she could remember anything. I could feel the pain eat away at my chest. All the love I felt for her, all the happiness we shared together… It was gone. She wouldn't remember a speck of it. The lump in my throat came back, and I had the will to cry. _Just breathe, Edward. Pull it together, man. _

"Edward?" Bella called out, lightly touching my hand. My hands began to unclench at her touch. I looked into her eyes and gave her a sad smile. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Thank you for sharing that with me. I'm happy that you trust me. And I'm sorry about your disease. I promise to keep you safe. If you're not feeling –"

"Edward, Edward, Edward," Bella clucked. "Calm down! Really, I'm fine. My levels are low, so I'm on the border line of normal. I'm just like any other twenty-two year old woman with short term memory. You feel, babe?" My smile widened a bit and nodded. Bella patted my hands and stood up, brushing the grass from her. "Good, now lets go walking. You need to tell me more about that brother of yours, Emmett is it?"

I laughed, standing up and falling back into comfortable conversation with her. She didn't want my protection. She could handle herself. She made that clear. But something she wasn't clear of, that I would stop at nothing, to get her to fall in love with me, again.

* * *

**A/n: ***Eyes bulge out of head* Fuck me. Eleven pages of pure Edward and Bella-ness. My eyes! They fucking HURT! Alright, well, this is clearly the longest I've ever written. That's been a nice, published story. I have another one that I'm working on, haven't decided on the title yet, that's a good ten pages. It should come out near the end of July, first week of August, 'round there. Something I'd like to make clear: Edward does not like change. Coins and a bunch of other stuff bothers him. So he tells everyone to keep his change. But hey, who's going to complain? So, review and feed my damn addiction, 'cause I went and wrote this on time. For once! LOL.

Oh, if any one is interested, _**Prude Turned Porn Star **_and _**Incest Holds the Family Together, **_will be updated the following week. I pulled a muscle in my arm, it's been hurting, leaving me to not be able to write. I know, I'm a drama queen xD But yes, I've been taking some stuff for it, and the pain isn't as bad as it was. So I was able to write this to the MAX. Again, go review and do the normal drill because it keeps me writing longs chaps like this. A big thank you to Alice because of her awesome editing skills. I'm sure she's happy that this is a long chapter for once :D


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n: **I blame Alice for making me come back and write this. Not in a bad way though. LOL. I saw it on my list of stories and I remembered how much she loved it (I also taunted her. Don't judge me, it was actually a lot of fun to do that to her). I decided I'd come back to this and at least finish it at most. So, here I am, possibly a year late with this chapter, but hey! I got it done! Thanks to the wonderful Spirit Speaker for editing this for me (:

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Twilight_

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**Chapter 4 – Continuing to Love a Changed Person**

Our hands were intertwined as I walked her back to her home. It was silent between us and I felt quite comfortable in this silence. Too long – it had just been too _long _without feeling the warmth of her palm and the assuring sound of her heart beat pumping strongly in her chest. I missed everything about her. Yet to just hold her hand as we walked back happily to her house, it made me feel sadness.

She didn't even remember who I was. And I knew every little thing about this girl. I knew how responsive she'd become if I played the familiar chords of her lullaby. I knew that calculus had attacked her, but she'd study hard and pull through each time an exam would turn up. I also knew how she liked her cereal – extra bran with slices of banana dropped in. I knew everything.

"Thank you, Edward," she whispered to me as we neared the gate to her house. I looked over to her and saw her biting her lip before me. I threw a small smile to her. "I really appreciate how friendly and open you've been with me. Thank you, so much."

The hold on her hand tightened and I peered down to gaze into her wonderful eyes. _My beautiful brown eyes. _"I just want you to know that I'm always here," I said softly. "I'll always be here for you, Bella." Her eyes were fixated to mine, and they shone with delight.

Her small arms looped around to my waist and she squeezed her little form against my cold and hard one. The warmth of her body spread throughout mine and I felt completely at ease. I felt at home. I felt like the heart that had once stopped so long ago, was finally coming back – slowly but surely. All because of the feel of her body against mine.

Something was a little bit off as we reached the door. The familiar freesia and berry scent of her home was reeking with musk, the smell of the woods. I would've known that scent anywhere. _Jacob._

She opened it with her set of keys and in a quick flash, a monstrous body flung out and grabbed her, making her squeal in surprise. His body held her tight to him, and I was a bit worried that he was holding her _too _tight. But as I heard her laugh, I realized she was okay. Jealousy radiated throughout my entire body. I wanted to hold her like that. I once had the chance to hold her that way. There was a time where she was mine and no one else's, but that time was gone. Dead. Non-existent. No more.

"Bella!" the voice yelled out in mirth, bringing myself out of my thoughts and back to reality. I peered into his eyes and saw all the love and devotion he held for her. How much he cared after her. I didn't want to admit it, but I was thankful. He must've known what happened to Bella after we left. He must've helped her heal whatever pain she was dealing with. It wrenched at my heart each time Alice would get a vision, because before it'd disappear, I'd see it. I'd see the pain and the tears and the cries. Just that alone sent me into a fit of despair and longing.

As her boyfriend, I should've been there for her. I should've never left. I shouldn't have been so stupid and reckless to believe that maybe leaving would be better for all of us. For her. If that's how it went, then she wouldn't have cried. I hated to see her cry. Yet I was the source of all those tears, so many months, years ago. I hated myself for doing this to her and to myself.

"Edward?" I heard Bella call out my name.

I looked towards her and saw Jacob Black's arm wrapped around her small waist. My eyes zeroed in on that arm and I resisted the urge to rip it from its socket. I held my ground though.

_She isn't yours any longer though, _I thought sadly to myself. I sighed inwardly.

_You have at least ten seconds to even __**attempt **__to explain why you're here before I come over there and rip your neck right off your body. Ten, nine…, _I heard. I looked towards Jacob and saw the ultimate hatred and abhorrence in his dark eyes. I nodded. I just needed to stall time just a bit.

"Bella, why don't you get inside? I gotta get something from my car, so I'll just meet you inside, okay, honey?" Jacob asked her sweetly. She looked back at him with love in her eyes and nodded. She turned back to me and I forced down all the pain I was feeling. The most I could've done was look happy for her. Look as if it was all okay. I felt like such a woman.

"Edward, thank you for such a wonderful day. I really enjoyed myself and I'm hoping we can do something like this again, hm?" she asked me, smiling brightly. I met her smile, knowing it didn't reach my eyes. She leaned towards me and lightly kissed my cold cheek. "I'll miss you," she whispered, blushing lightly. My smile perked a bit and in a flash, she was inside the house.

"What the hell are you doing here, leech?" Jacob snarled at me.

"It's a long story," was all I could lamely come up with it.

"Well, you better start talking because there's nothing stopping me from killing you at this moment. You have no reason to be here around Bella. Especially after you left her stranded like a dog. You should be ashamed of yourself," he spat. I nodded and looked towards the floor, sighing.

"I couldn't stand living without her. I love her too much," I whispered.

"Bullshit. You made it fully clear that you didn't after –"

"After I left for her safety," I said, finally seeing the point in proving why I was here. He was the key to Bella. If he saw why I was here and approved, then trying to win her back would be an easy situation.

_I don't believe you, _Jacob thought.

"Well, believe it, because it's true. I left because after there was an issue with my brother on her birthday. She cut her finger and all of hell broke loose that one night. I saw that our lifestyle wasn't right for Bella. An environment of vampires isn't healthy at all for an innocent human like her. I left because I thought that if she maybe saw how I was thinking, she'd at least try and get her life back together," I mumbled.

"You're full of crap," Jacob said. "After Bella's…accident, she didn't even remember a thing. Your lucky I don't have half the mind to blame her accident and suffering because of you. She was through so much pain. Before and after the accident. Maybe if you were here and trying to keep her safe, the accident wouldn't have happened at all," he spat.

My head snapped towards his and I stared at him sadly. "What happened to her, Jacob?" I whispered.

Seeing the obvious pain in my eyes, he sighed quietly to himself and ran a hand through his black hair. "No one knew of Bella's disorder until of the accident. You know how clumsy she always was, so we just suspected that her clumsiness was sparking up the month of March. Things were… different, I should say, for Bella. She tripped every single minute that sometimes I had to carry her just to get to her car.

"Schooling got just a tad bit harder for her. Sometimes when we did homework together, she'd spend at least an hour on the first question. Bella's smart. You could imagine my shock when I worked it out for her and gave her the answer. When I asked her if she was okay, she looked at me as if she didn't even know who I was. It scared me, to be honest. I didn't know what was happening.

"There were moments were she'd be all… jerky. She'd twitch a lot and sometimes her movements were uncontrollable or random. But after it'd pass, she'd laugh it all off and say she was okay."

It felt as if I was being slapped with a brick, someone driving a million nails into my heart, a metal bus running me over. This was all my fault. I did this to her. If I was still there back then, maybe we could've figured out what was wrong with her sooner and everything would be better.

"Hey," Jacob said, bringing me back to him, "You still with me?"

I nodded.

"Anyways, near the end of March, Bella went missing for two days. Charlie first noticed it when she didn't come home that night and we all thought that she was at a friend's for once but forgot to tell us. I stayed over their place, assuring Charlie that I'd stay up so he could sleep. And that if Bella came home, I'd wake him up. Bella never came home.

"When we finally found her, she was on the cliffs in La Push. I was so terrified that she already jumped or something and drowned. But when we found her, her head was covered in blood and her ankle was twisted in this really weird position. She was twitching a lot and Seth couldn't even stay long enough to help pick up her body. He had to leave."

Tears filled my eyes as I saw the images in his mind. That couldn't have been my Bella. She wouldn't be so reckless like that. I always stressed her being safe at all times whenever she was with me. Why would did she act so reckless that night? "She promised," I whispered, my voice breaking.

"You have to remember that Bella probably didn't know what she was doing." I looked at him and saw the tears rolling down his face. "She didn't have a clue as to what she did, or how she even got there or what happened to her. We don't even know what happened to her. We all assume that she just tripped hard and landed really badly. I still blame myself sometimes, for not being there. For not guarding her and keeping her safe at all times." He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, wiping his tears.

"When they told us the news of Bella's disease, we didn't know how to handle it. There's no cure for what she has. At any time of the day, her disorder can be perfectly calm and normal, to deadly and taking away all the privileges she has in life. For now, she's okay because it's just Juvenile HD. She hasn't had another episode of forgetting very many things, although she can't remember anything from her past life, in a sense. Her balance is amazing now and she kept up with her studies until she graduated. We're all really happy that she's okay, because she plays a big role in our lives.

"I love Bella with everything I have. She's this light that brightens up my day. I can't afford to lose her, or see her in any sort of pain. I can't. I'm sure you love Bella just as much, or probably even more than I do. That's why you came back. But you need to understand that although it'd be good for her to have you back in her life, she's okay for now. She's safe, she's happy. Isn't that what you always wanted for her? For her to finally move on and to be okay?"

My body was racked with sobs, and I suddenly felt like such a baby. This _was _what I wanted for her. But another part of me spoke differently. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to love her. I wanted her in my arms and telling me how much she cared for me. All these things; I wanted. I was being so selfish, but I didn't have the mind to even put all those wants away. Those needs and desires were what brought my here. They brought me here to be with her, to have that second chance that I craved for the past few years.

"I do," I told him. "I do so much. But my need to be with her is too much for me to handle. I can't stand knowing that she's away from me, because I'm selfish like that. I don't believe that I'm right for Bella, but I want her anyways. I'll _always _want her. Because I love her. I love Bella so much, Jacob, and it's already killing me inside that she can't remember me or what we used to be."

He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at me. _You really love her, don't you? _he thought. I nodded. "I always have and always will."

"I'm putting everything on the line right here. I don't know whether to trust you and allow you to get with her once more, or to keep blocking you out. I already see how attuned to you she is, and I feel like I'm being the bad best friend from keeping her happiness away from her. I don't know what to do, but I do know that if I pick the former choice, I will stop at nothing to murder you when I find out that you hurt her. You won't even get a voice. I will rip your body apart, you hear me? You'll be dead before you even realize you died."

"Are you… are you granting me permission to win her back?" I mumbled.

"I am. I don't like you, personally. But I do like how happy Bella really is. It makes me happy to know that she's happy, because I love her. This is me begging right here. But don't hurt her, Edward. Don't do what you did to her four years ago. Think about Bella this time. Not yourself." I nodded in understanding. I wasn't going to fuck this up this time around. Her and I would work. We would find a way to be together and I would win her back.

I stopped believing in God after Carlisle changed me. I always knew that the day I officially died, I'd be sent to hell because I cheated death one too many times. But in that one instant, I believed that there God was, in the form of Jacob Black. He was granting me this second chance that I wanted for so long.

Thanking him many times before I left, I felt like I actually had some freedom now. Where yesterday and somewhat today I was restricted to being just Bella's friend, I could actually make a move on her. I wouldn't have to worry about Jacob hating me or getting me away from her because he understood how I felt.

I sighed in relief leaned against the back of my door when I got home that evening. After the talk with Jacob, I had resorted to sitting on a park bench and going through the days events and thoughts. I barely noticed the people around me, but at around four the sun was beginning to creep out from the clouds. I knew that it was inevitable. This was Los Angeles for crying out loud. If there was more than two days without sun, you knew something was wrong.

For the rest of that night, it was occupied by me sitting at the piano, scribbling down notes and playing. After four years, I finally had the inspiration to get back to playing the piano. I was glad, and I was hoping that when I returned, Esme would be glad. I knew it pained her so that I would never step foot near the piano in our new house. I couldn't step near it though. I couldn't find it in myself to play my favorite composition when the one who inspired it was so far away from me.

Morning came, and I was ridiculously upset when I realized that it was to be a sunny day. I flopped onto the couch and began to flip through hundreds of channels, not really caring what was on and what wasn't. How the hell was I going to start my 'Winning Bella Back' plan if I would have to stay inside all day?

Just as I was about to go through another hundred channels, an usual vision popped into my head. I think it was the receptionist out front. She was talking with someone who had glasses on, and a black scarf wrapped around her head. When the person spoke, I realized who it was.

_Alice. Shit. _

I stood up and looked around. What the hell was I going to do about her? I couldn't hide, she'd catch me if I ran away quick enough and if I didn't answer, I already _knew _she'd break down that door. She was tiny, but ferocious like fuck. It was insane.

My eyes landed on the balcony. If I was fast enough, I'd be able to climb from this balcony to the ones below me, open the balcony window if it already wasn't and escape from the stairs. God be damned about the sun, I couldn't face the wrath of my sister. At all!

I ran towards the balcony, throwing my leg casually over it and analyzing the people under me. I had to really be careful because if anyone saw me, they'd probably think I was insane or committing suicide. Just before I was able to throw my other leg over the edge, I heard an "Edward Cullen!" and felt myself being thrown down to the ground.

"Alice!" I heard Jasper scream over Alice's deadly growls. She had a death grip on my neck and she was shaking my head while screaming at me. "You bastard of a brother! I told you I'd wring your neck if you tried any of this shit on me! I told you that two years ago and you never believed me! Who's the idiot now, huh?"

I grabbed her hands and ripped them off of me, scrambling to get away from her. "Jesus Christ, Alice! Do you want to at least appear normal?" I yelled at her. I tried to stand, but she suddenly gripped my legs and began punching my stomach. "Get the hell off me!"

"Alice! Alice, honey. Come on, get off of Edward!" I heard Jasper coax, finally getting her off of me. I ran a hand through my hair and went inside, trying to get away from her as far as possible. It was clear that Alice was extremely angry with me. I didn't even need to tune into her head to know that.

_I hate you. I hate you. I hate you so much right now. You don't even know what I'd do to you if Jasper wasn't here to stop me. I hate you. I hate you… _her chant began once more. I growled under my breath and sat down on the couch.

Alice was here and she was here to stay for good. It was clear that she wasn't leaving when she came back inside the room with Jasper rubbing her shoulders encouragingly. My eyes widened and she sat on the couch opposite from me. Her face was calm, but I knew that she was absolutely seething inside.

"I want in," she told me suddenly, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I asked her, confused.

"I'm not leaving. I don't give a shit on what you have to say about that. I'm here to stay and I want to know everything. And if you dare lie to me… well, let's just say you won't have enough time to run from me next time, and no Jasper to stop me."

I sat absolutely still, scared out of my wits but happy. Alice was here. Jasper was here. They could really help me now.

I then launched into the story between Bella and I, not knowing full well on what was to unfold next.

* * *

**A/n: **Kay, so a number of things I wanted to clarify. I am back for good. I guess you could just say everything went on hiatus when I said I was leaving. But I am back for good now, so you don't need to worry about me leaving anymore. On that same note, high school actually leaves me with very little time to write, much less read stories here. So just for the heads up. I'm back, but like usual, updates WILL be dragged out. **Sighs.** Andddd, I also came back with a very long chapter! Oh yay! This was kind of a filler on what people didn't know about Bella and how she got the way she is. Keep in mind of Bella's disease because it will actually play a larger part in this story.

I just want to say this now, but my Bella, my Edward, my Alice, all the characters in this story are the way I want them to be. I think that in the real _Twilight _Edward and Bella (both) are Mary-Sue's that have nothing in common. That's me though. So don't flame if you think they're OOC because they are.

For the record, Jacob is not being reckless. I think he's being cool and unselfish because to be honest, that's how best guy friends should for when their best chick friend is dealing with break up. Ah, fantasies, fantasies.

Anyways, this was more for Alice (I really hope no one thinks I'm crazy by thinking that I'm talking to the Twilight Alice. LOL, the real one's gonna kill me) because I know how much she actually loved this story. Soooo, THIS IS FOR YOU, BB!

Again, thank you to my lovely beta reader Spirit Speaker! I'd probably not be uploading this if I actually had to read this over more than once. LOL.

Leave me some love, guys!


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